I missed the wind in Cape Town this past week while I soaked up the last of the Jacaranda blossoms in Pretoria. There I worked with a group of GMs, coaching them towards planning their future. On the plane back to Cape Town, I read some of Richard Daft's "The Executive and the Elephant" - on the 6 mental mistakes leaders make.
The piece that stuck with me was on how we chase the wrong gratifications and how that burns us out. I help my clients feel for what brings them joy from inside. It's such a plain sentence for a process that unfolds with great difficulty for most. It's almost impossible for some people to allow themselves the space and time to connect with what fills them up and makes them want to hop, skip and jump daily.
This little story from the book illustrates how what we used to do for fun, becomes a drag:
Consider the elementary school children who played in an area not far from the window of the bedroom in which a retired man worked and napped. After a few days of noise, he asked the kids to play elsewhere, but they refused. The next day he said to them, "If you kids come back and play here tomorrow, I'll give each of you one dollar." They came back the next day and played even more enthusiastically. He paid them each a dollar and said, "If you will come back tomorrow, I'll give you each fifty cents." That was still a good deal, so the kids showed up on time and played their usual loud games. When they came to collect, he paid the fifty cents, and then offered them one penny if they would come again the next day. These kids were insulted at being paid only one penny. One said, "Forget it." They never came back again.
Why the change of heart? When the kids started, they were intrinsically motivated to play in the spot near the man's window. They played there for the fun of it. As soon as they received pay for playing there, they started to see themselves as doing it for the money. The money caused them to lose sight of the original fun. The old man understood that given a choice, the inner elephant within each child would choose the external reward and thereby lose sight of the intrinsic fun. Once their minds believed that they were playing for a reward, when the reward disappeared, so did they.
The inner elephant loves the temporary good feeling that goes with external rewards, whether in the form of a trip, plaque, promotion, or more money. The question is, Does the elephant's love for external rewards produce happiness and satisfaction?
I remember the time when I used to set up exams and assignments for the short-term insurance faculty of a business school - I was basically only playing in that spot because it paid for my studies - whilst I found meaning in that helping me walk the bridge to where I wanted to be, I really had to work hard not to fill time with dilly-dally.
I found this video clip by Jeff Monday - I like the way he talks to what I'm thinking about here. He also refers to Dan Ariely and Daniel Pink - if you want to explore motivation further, I recommend you check out some of their stuff on YouTube.
The piece that stuck with me was on how we chase the wrong gratifications and how that burns us out. I help my clients feel for what brings them joy from inside. It's such a plain sentence for a process that unfolds with great difficulty for most. It's almost impossible for some people to allow themselves the space and time to connect with what fills them up and makes them want to hop, skip and jump daily.
This little story from the book illustrates how what we used to do for fun, becomes a drag:
Consider the elementary school children who played in an area not far from the window of the bedroom in which a retired man worked and napped. After a few days of noise, he asked the kids to play elsewhere, but they refused. The next day he said to them, "If you kids come back and play here tomorrow, I'll give each of you one dollar." They came back the next day and played even more enthusiastically. He paid them each a dollar and said, "If you will come back tomorrow, I'll give you each fifty cents." That was still a good deal, so the kids showed up on time and played their usual loud games. When they came to collect, he paid the fifty cents, and then offered them one penny if they would come again the next day. These kids were insulted at being paid only one penny. One said, "Forget it." They never came back again.
Why the change of heart? When the kids started, they were intrinsically motivated to play in the spot near the man's window. They played there for the fun of it. As soon as they received pay for playing there, they started to see themselves as doing it for the money. The money caused them to lose sight of the original fun. The old man understood that given a choice, the inner elephant within each child would choose the external reward and thereby lose sight of the intrinsic fun. Once their minds believed that they were playing for a reward, when the reward disappeared, so did they.
The inner elephant loves the temporary good feeling that goes with external rewards, whether in the form of a trip, plaque, promotion, or more money. The question is, Does the elephant's love for external rewards produce happiness and satisfaction?
I remember the time when I used to set up exams and assignments for the short-term insurance faculty of a business school - I was basically only playing in that spot because it paid for my studies - whilst I found meaning in that helping me walk the bridge to where I wanted to be, I really had to work hard not to fill time with dilly-dally.
I found this video clip by Jeff Monday - I like the way he talks to what I'm thinking about here. He also refers to Dan Ariely and Daniel Pink - if you want to explore motivation further, I recommend you check out some of their stuff on YouTube.
How much of what happens in your life has changed because of extrinsic reward that changed the way you experience what you do and why?
Could you rearrange your time so that you can reflect on where you find fulfilment in your life?
Could you rearrange your time so that you can reflect on where you find fulfilment in your life?